This has been a hard one to write. I have started and deleted it a few times. But here goes…

I found out this weekend another person I used to know passed away. She died several years ago. Even though we were out of touch, it still stung. And unfortunately her addiction to drugs took her life.

That marks the fifth time this year I found out someone I was friends with or acquainted with was gone. Each time I got the news my heart sank. I also learned that in the state of Pennsylvania, obituaries are not required. So on a few of those occasions when friends relayed what happened, they had little information because the families of the deceased were not revealing much. We don’t know if there was foul play or if the family was so devastated, they just wanted to lay them to rest and it be over with.

Even though I haven’t talked to some of them in years, it got me thinking about a lot of things. One being how much time I might have left on earth. I don’t know, it’s not up to me. And even though I am pretty healthy, I don’t smoke, I don’t do drugs and rarely drink, that is not a guarantee. And when God calls me home, I will have to go. I don’t think I am scared to cross over, just apprehensive because I don’t know what is on the other side. In the meantime I am trying to figure out how to be the best person I can to myself and my fellow man. I don’t want to leave with bitterness or bad feelings toward anyone in my heart. I know I can’t fix anyone but myself. And not everyone is going to want to talk with me, forgive me, or make amends. But I am willing to do what I can on my end to try and set a good example for those around me. I am not trying to be perfect, just take what I have learned and what has been shown to me, and use it to the best of my ability.

Thank you for reading. And to the musician, former coworker, neighbor, club bouncer, and high school friend, may you all rest in peace!!

Blessings,

Killeen