In one of the apartment buildings I used to live at, I made friends with the couple down the hall. I was there for a party one evening and a friend of theirs introduced himself. Shortly thereafter, we began dating. But it didn’t last long. He initiated the breakup and was pretty rude about it. The interesting thing was, afterward, he started visiting his friends more. He would talk loud as he passed my apartment and laugh and cry out intensely when his friends opened their door. There was also an incident when he was visiting his friends and he saw me leaving. I heard him say something like, “Oh my God, there she is.” I thought to myself, “Really? I live here!” But I never said anything because I found the situation comical. He was obviously making a show and coming over more because he wanted to see me. I don’t think his friends realized it at first, but from what one of their friends relayed to me, they got tired of the theatrics.

After that experience, when someone says their ex is everywhere they are, I take it with a grain of salt. Because if you really don’t want to run into someone, you change your habits. Shop somewhere else for groceries, buy gas at a different filling station and find new places to go for entertainment. If you have the same friends, don’t mention your ex. If they bring them up, steer the conversation to something else or tell them you prefer a different topic. And be firm about it. There are always “moles” in every group looking to stir up trouble and to report anything you say. For those occasions where you see your ex, you can be polite and say hello, say nothing, or act as if they are not there. The less of a reaction, the better.

It is a big world out there with lots to do. Because anymore if you keep running into your ex, one or both of you is doing it on purpose.