I was binge watching reality tv and kept hearing the guests talk about “a good connection” with the person when they first met. But then it went sour. So what happened? I have had my share of things go wrong in real life so I contemplated this. And here is what I surmised.

It can be exciting to meet new people. And when you hit it off with someone, it is fun to have a new person in your life. But were you so eager that you ignored red flags? Did you make allowances when you noticed things that didn’t sit well with you? And when you were conversing with this person was it an even exchange or was one of you doing the talking and the other agreeing with everything? Did one of you have something the other wanted? Money, a place to live, companionship, or status of some kind? Look at who else is in their circle. Does this person always have someone new they spend a lot of time with in the beginning, and then fade away? If you were lied to, that is unfortunate and can be damaging. But when they were spinning their tale you probably had an inkling they weren’t telling the truth or giving the whole story.

When an alliance ends we wonder where the breakdown occurred. And it is easy to blame the other because often times we feel as if we were duped. But we can be equally responsible for being accommodating and not speaking up if we felt something wasn’t right. However you can take what you know from this negative experience and use it to proceed with caution for the next new person who crosses your path.