When someone “ghosts” you it does not make them a bad person. And when you get “ghosted” it does not make you a lifelong victim. I have been on both sides. When I have been the one to “ghost” and not offer an explanation, it was probably because I didn’t feel it was necessary. There were times I thought I was friends with someone and the switch flipped. I saw something that showed me differently. I have discovered I was lied to, I have heard I was talked about unfavorably, and I also realized I wasn’t liked very much or not at all. And if I am only contacted when someone needs something, invited to come along to be part of an entourage, or friendship is not being reciprocated, I have walked away. There have also been instances where the other person had a crazy life. I don’t like to see people destroy themselves and I didn’t want to be brought down with them. I need my sleep, my piece of mind, and to devote my energy to my needs.

I have also been ghosted. There are times where it has been a mystery. But I later learned someone didn’t enjoy my company, they didn’t agree with a statement I made, or they felt I wasn’t honest about something. I’m not perfect, so any of those things are possible. But if someone chooses not to talk an issue out with me and go on their way, it is their right.

If you have been ghosted or were the ghoster, you can reach out to the other for discussion. But keep a few things in mind. They may or may not want to talk to you. If they do, each party should have the opportunity to speak and be heard. And consider what you want from the outcome. Are you looking to prove you are right? Because you may not be. Do you want the person back in your circle, or do you just want to get what happened off your chest? It could do you good to get things out in the open. But it might also be beneficial to close that chapter and go on with your life without them.