A friend of mine used to be in a heavy metal band that played out every weekend. At most of the shows there was a socially awkward guy at the front of the stage thrashing his head and pumping his fist in the air. He wore an argyle sweater, khaki pants, and he had glasses. It was quite a contrast to the audience of ripped jeans, long hair, and black t-shirts that surrounded him. I asked my friend who he was and he said “Richard” (not his real name) was a fan who came to almost every show. Although he looked out of place at their shows, I noticed during breaks each bandmember took a moment to go over to him and say hello. They recognized even though they were opposites, he showed allegiance to them. And it was appreciated.

A few weeks ago I reconnected with my friend. He and his musician buddies still get together and play shows. I asked if Richard was still around and he said yes, he still comes to see their group. My friend said he makes a point to try to have a drink with him during intermission.

When you have a “cool” job or hobby, people want to be your friend because it makes them look “cool” to know you. And it’s easy say to ourselves we can be friends with someone based on similarities, and not make friends because of differences. Those are surface illusions. In my opinion, what we should look for in people is loyalty.

~Killeen Avila